REVIEW: JOHN DIES AT THE END

John Dies at the EndJohn Dies at the End by David Wong
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In my mind, David Wong practically is
Cracked.com, and that’s where I first found out about his book John Dies at the End. Was it from the podcast? I don’t remember. Unsurprisingly, and not unwelcomingly (if that isn’t a word, it should be) it read just like his website: a pop and geek culture reference mishmash, teeming with intelligent factoids and random trivia sprinkled around the narrative, gruesome deaths, rich descriptions of unimaginable horrors and most importantly, lots of laughs: belly laughter, giggles, snorts, a mix of clever geek humour with an absurd twist—call me Douglas Adams— penis jokes… Yes, it is Cracked: The Funny Horror Novel.

I’m not giving it five stars because I’m sure I won’t remember too much of it down the road, i.e. it wasn’t memorable per se, or maybe it was too dense with quips and gags. Besides, there’s only so much exploding Lovecraftian monsters (“The ultimate evil in the universe that human minds cannot comprehend!”) you can fit in a few pages before it gets a bit too much, a bit too heavy, like drinking a bottleful of Soy Sauce, the drug of which a tiny consumption is the root cause of our heroes’ encounters with the other side.

Those characters weren’t that great, either, and that’s another reason why the book won’t stick with me. Then again I would never say that Douglas Adams’ strong point was his characters, but The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy wasn’t worse for it, or at least the weak characters added to its distinct style. Why shouldn’t it be the same with John Dies at the End then?

Since we’re back to John, I’ll admit I wouldn’t mind having a friend like him. Come to think of it, so does Wong, probably, and I’m not ruling out the possibility that he wrote this book just as a way to flesh out his cool imaginary friend/alter ego.

…scratch that, actually. I just checked, and John exists as much as Dave does, or at least the template for John in Wong’s head exists, but still. I mean, he himself, the writer, is the protagonist; do you think he’d be above doing something like that?

(some more Wikihopping later)

What?! Did you know that Cracked used to be a real magazine? Printed, sold and everything all the way back to the ’50s? I had no idea!

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REVIEW: JOHNNY GOT HIS GUN

Johnny Got His GunJohnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ~Anonymous (as far as I know)

Metallica’s One is based on this book. The lyrics more or less summarise the plot:

(view spoiler)

Now that the war is through with me
I’m waking up, I cannot see
That there is not much left of me
Nothing is real but pain now

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please, God, wake me

Back to the womb that’s much too real
In pumps life that I must feel
But can’t look forward to reveal
Look to the time when I’ll live

Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please, God, wake me

Now the world is gone, I’m just one
Oh God, help me
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please, God, help me

Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell

Landmine has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my hearing
Taken my arms
Taken my legs
Taken my soul
Left me with life in hell
(hide spoiler)]

The descriptions of early 20th century rural America once again had me nostalgic over something I never lived through. I could feel the pain of leaving behind your family, your mama’s fresh, delicious homemade food, your new girlfriend, your job, your stories… never to come back. How many millions of people in world history have had the same fate? How many of us would be ready to face such prospects?

I just have to wonder: would pro-war or at least pro-military people reading Johnny Got His Gun ever come out from it converted? Would reading the book that helped inspire the first truly massive anti-war movement budge somebody who isn’t moved by common pacifist arguments? Perhaps it is aimed more squarely at Americans, who have been waging wars in foreign lands, not their own, for at least a century. It is not the same dynamics that are at play when we’re talking about fighting in a defensive war for protecting one’s own home and people.

It has to be said, anyway, that, no matter how good it sounds, it is a dream that everybody put down their guns and their bombs and their missiles and whatever weapons the next war will be fought with, even though I’d love to see the day when a war would be de facto cancelled because the “little guys” would have turned their guns at the “big guys” to protect their own lives and interests…

Wait. Maybe it’s not a dream. I mean, we’re living through interesting times of great changes. What would happen if there was a draft tomorrow? What would a contemporary anti-war movement based on Twitter and Facebook look like? It could conceivably break new water, the same way the web and the net have helped revolutionise what we thought we knew about communication. We can’t predict what new disruptions our new social toys could bring about in such a terrible eventuality, and in this climate, Johnny Got His Gun is as an important and inspiring a read as ever before.

Among all the other reasons, it is inspiring because it reminds you of your blessings, of the little that you truly need in order to experience life at its fullest, what Joe was robbed of. But then again, the mind works in mysterious ways. It is one of the greatest obstacles to happiness, and one of the greatest human tragedies, that people can only appreciate what they have when it’s gone, including their five senses and the wholesomeness of their body. However, even in the hellish nightmare of sensory deprivation and paralysis, the capacity for some kind of happiness or satisfaction is still there.

A guy without a face and limbs is still capable of being grateful for his good fortune. How about you? Were you stressing over trivialities today, or did you stop for a second, be aware of the present and realise what a gift life is, or can be, if you let it?

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