The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I tried practicing polyamory a few years ago, back when I had minimal experience with intimate relationships. It came to me as a concept naturally back then, and I still think it’s a great idea if you can find the right people who will be willing to try it out with you on their own volition (obviously you can’t force anybody into it).
Back in the day I made a lot of mistakes. I couldn’t make it work and ended up psychologically beaten up and scarred. However, it ended up being one of my most significant growing experiences, and surprisingly it didn’t shake my conviction that monogamy is not in any shape or form the only “normal” type of intimate relationship people can share. I have to admit that I’m not sure whether today I would be able to handle any better what five years ago I wasn’t able to due to lack of experience or perhaps maturity, but I know that reading The Ethical Slut gave me perspective, confidence and knowledge that polyamory can work, even if it goes against most of the principles I/we take for granted and cannot identify their origin.
Now, about the book. I felt it tended to repeat itself in some ways and placed too much emphasis on (unconventional) sex, which in my world is glorified a bit too much. At times the writers came across as too condescending (“sorry my life is so simple, geez!”). But in the end I got something from it: I was inspired by the different success stories and will come back to it for ideas, suggestions and tips if/when I end up in a polyamoric relationship.