The Meaning of Liff (link to full text/book)
By Douglas Adams and John Lloyd
In Life*, there are many hundreds of common experiences, feelings, situations and even objects which we all know and recognize, but for which no words exist.
On the other hand, the world is littered with thousands of spare words which spend their time doing nothing but loafing about on signposts pointing at places.
Our job, as wee see it, is to get these words down off the signposts and into the mouths of babes and sucklings and so on, where they can start earning their keep in everyday conversation and make a more positive contribution to society.
Douglas Adams
John Lloyd
*And, indeed, in Liff.
Some favourite picks:
OSHKOSH (n., vb.)
The noise made by someone who has just been grossly flattered and is trying to make light of it.
WIMBLEDON (n.)
That last drop which, no matter how much you shake it, always goes down your trouser leg.
SIMPRIM (n.)
The little movement of false modesty by which a girl with a cavernous visible cleavage pulls her skirt down over her knees.
SCROGGS (n.)
The stout pubic hairs which protrude from your helping of moussaka in a cheap Greek restaurant.
MOFFAT (n. tailoring term)
That part of your coat which is designed to be sat on by the person next of you on the bus.
HATHERSAGE (n.)
The tiny snippets of beard which coat the inside of a washbasin after shaving in it.
AINDERBY STEEPLE (n.)
One who asks you a question with the apparent motive of wanting to hear your answer, but who cuts short your opening sentence by leaning forward and saying ‘and I’ll tell you why I ask…’ and then talking solidly for the next hour.
