REVIEW: THE PSYCHOPATH TEST

The Psychopath TestThe Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was a gift from my Latvian friend Zanda for my 26th birthday. When I got it I thought it was going to be about what makes people crazy or sets crazy people apart, and I do believe Mr. Ronson set out to write this book from a kind of similar mental space. Instead, I discovered, together with him, how psychopathy is much different from what is typically understood as mental illness by most people.

A psychopath doesn’t do “crazy” things—they are very calculating. A psychopath doesn’t suffer from schizophrenia, paranoia or psychosis–the actual illnesses we have connected with the picture of madness; in fact, a psychopath could easily pass off as a completely normal, sociable, even extremely attractive person, with one key difference: psychopaths are unable to feel for other people. It’s impossible for them to experience empathy or sympathy. It’s literally impossible. According to Robert Hare, the creator of the Hare Psychopath Checklist, which lent its name to the title of this book and which has been used to spot psychopathy in people, the disorder is actually biological: a certain kind of neural activity in the amygdala of normal people connected to horror, revulsion and other intense emotional responses just do not fire up in psychopaths.

Many murders or serial killers in history have been psychopaths, but to them killing was nothing “wrong”. It was an act of curiosity or of scratching a certain itch. Furthermore, many higher-ups in important corporations holding key positions are actually psychopaths, or at least the profession with the largest percentage of psychopaths within its ranks is that of the CEO. Companies that are shaping the present and future of humanity are run by people who cannot feel remorse or responsibility and only think of their own selfish needs.

Doesn’t that go a long way towards explaining why things are the way they are in the world right now? I mean, I have been wondering for a long time just how hugely influential people manage to live with themselves and their (probably negative) actions. How they can have so much power and influence and just never use it in a way that makes any kind of ethical sense. I was imagining they must look at themselves in the mirror and every once in a while involuntarily throw up a little.

Turns out it is far more likely they go to bed each night feeling proud of themselves and how they spent another day proving the world who’s boss: predators preying on the lesser people who got what they had coming for them.

But if it’s not their fault, if they do end up becoming CEOs because that professional field vastly rewards this kind of remorseless behaviour, what are we supposed to do with that information?

What if you were born without the capacity to connect with other people, to understand why people cry or feel hurt? What if everything boiled down to “predators and prey”, as it does for so many psychopaths? What should the world do with you then? Would it be justified to lock you up and throw away the key?

Bonus: the Psychopath Test reveals the shocking truth that illnesses such as ADHD, bipolar disorder and Asperger’s or autism might not have had as much thought put into their definitions as we might like to think. By DSM V, published in 2013, you would be quite hard-pressed not to find something wrong with you and your mind, even if that were you being scared of spiders, preferring one parent over the other (Parental Alienation Syndrome), spending too much time on the net (Internet Addiction Disorder) and the list goes on.

I don’t want to make assumptions, since I’m not in any way a specialist, but I’m guessing that big pharma wanting to sell drugs for plausible-sounding illnesses, as well as therapists aspiring to categorize everybody’s quirks into a system of diagnosable mental conditions, are playing a much more important role in creating unhealthy, dependent people than the will of the medical industry is oriented towards making everybody’s lives better—be it that of sick, healthy people, or anywhere on or around the murky borders inbetween.

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QB’S “THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS BATSHIT CRAZY” MEGAMIX

English. It’s a bastard language.

~Wayne Hall

Introductory comment number one: judging by how many millions of Speakers of English as a Second or Third Language are mispronouncing these words, including TESOL teachers, I have no idea to what extent their original, correct pronunciation will be relevant, say, 20 years from now. The evolution of the language will be highly unpredictable (not that anything in this world is so predictable, ahem) because it has the largest speakers as a foreign language/natives speakers ratio in the world: for every native speaker there are at least two who speak it at or above a conversational level, and many more the lower you set the bar. Source for the above.

Introductory comment number two: English, for all intents and purposes and despite its foundational inconsistencies, the current world language. Need more proof that people don’t work as rational actors and the world isn’t a product thereof?

english_is_a_crazy_language-1509490

Crazy-English


The kind lady who recited the poem below, originally found here, requests that people not “hotlink to them or steal them for their own website”. Well, I don’t if this counts as stealing, but if it does… This is the web, dear Ms. English Teacher.

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
At the army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
A buck does funny things when does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell into a sewer.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

Anonymous (unless you know better)

A rough coated, dough faced, thoughtful poughman, strode through the streets of Scarborough. After falling into a Sloug, he coughed and hiccoughed.


Last but not least: follow this, if you’ve got what it takes. Use this video as a guide and see how well you fare.

Click, if you dare

Gerard Nolst Trenité – The Chaos (1922)

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Just as an aside, there is a slightly different version of this poem right here, and here’s a link to a .pdf of it in the International Phonetic Alphabet.