Tag: army

EARWORM GARDEN // STEVEN WILSON — 3 YEARS OLDER

Another Steven Wilson song from Hand. Cannot. Erase. that’s playing in my head. I played this one in my car a few days ago to friendly company and they seemed to agree that it wasn’t the right time to play it and that they “didn’t go crazy for Steven Wilson”. Something twitched inside of me as I blurted back something between “I didn’t expect you to” and “my car, my rules”, which I immediately regretted. It’s okay, though, because playing that song then and there was what made it become my new earworm of the week and what eventually led to this post.

3 years ago was my first day at my first youth exchange, I See Green at Olde Vechte. Sofia gave me a little cupcake with a candle on it after that first lunch in Zeesse. I felt far away from home, celebrating my birthday in the company of strangers, but that gesture warmed my heart.

Today, 3 years older, there’s little hope the strangers in the army camp will become the special people the strangers from that youth exchange in the Netherlands soon became. But the candle from back then is still burning. It’s one of those special trick candles that don’t go out when you blow them.

PS: Wilson’s coming to Athens on May 5th. You can tell I won’t let many things stop me from being there to see him play.

EARWORM GARDEN // WOLFSHEIM — KEIN ZURÜCK

I tried to write something in German here; wasn’t sure if it was correct so I just ditched it. Schade.

Fact of the matter is I’m going through a kind of mini-“this is the first day of the rest of my life” feeling, as if the loose ends that had been hanging low were unexpectedly and simultaneously tied up—or rather, cut off.

Not “as if”, actually. One nagging little piece of emotional baggage in particular had been bothering me for absolutely yeeears (or did it  just feel long?), and I never expected internal resolution to come that easy, so suddenly, that it would smack me up the head so hard and definitively and completely in its obviousness when it did so just a couple of days ago, so… yeah. I’m proud and happy about it. Take that, Skalomann (like Skallamann only for skalomata).

Kein Weg Zurück now then, but in a good way, perfect for what’s coming up next, i.e. having to wake up super early, follow questionable orders, enjoy rations of even more questionable quality and so on and so forth.

REVIEW: JOHNNY GOT HIS GUN

Johnny Got His GunJohnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ~Anonymous (as far as I know)

Metallica’s One is based on this book. The lyrics more or less summarise the plot:

(view spoiler)

Now that the war is through with me
I’m waking up, I cannot see
That there is not much left of me
Nothing is real but pain now

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please, God, wake me

Back to the womb that’s much too real
In pumps life that I must feel
But can’t look forward to reveal
Look to the time when I’ll live

Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please, God, wake me

Now the world is gone, I’m just one
Oh God, help me
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please, God, help me

Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell

Landmine has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my hearing
Taken my arms
Taken my legs
Taken my soul
Left me with life in hell
(hide spoiler)]

The descriptions of early 20th century rural America once again had me nostalgic over something I never lived through. I could feel the pain of leaving behind your family, your mama’s fresh, delicious homemade food, your new girlfriend, your job, your stories… never to come back. How many millions of people in world history have had the same fate? How many of us would be ready to face such prospects?

I just have to wonder: would pro-war or at least pro-military people reading Johnny Got His Gun ever come out from it converted? Would reading the book that helped inspire the first truly massive anti-war movement budge somebody who isn’t moved by common pacifist arguments? Perhaps it is aimed more squarely at Americans, who have been waging wars in foreign lands, not their own, for at least a century. It is not the same dynamics that are at play when we’re talking about fighting in a defensive war for protecting one’s own home and people.

It has to be said, anyway, that, no matter how good it sounds, it is a dream that everybody put down their guns and their bombs and their missiles and whatever weapons the next war will be fought with, even though I’d love to see the day when a war would be de facto cancelled because the “little guys” would have turned their guns at the “big guys” to protect their own lives and interests…

Wait. Maybe it’s not a dream. I mean, we’re living through interesting times of great changes. What would happen if there was a draft tomorrow? What would a contemporary anti-war movement based on Twitter and Facebook look like? It could conceivably break new water, the same way the web and the net have helped revolutionise what we thought we knew about communication. We can’t predict what new disruptions our new social toys could bring about in such a terrible eventuality, and in this climate, Johnny Got His Gun is as an important and inspiring a read as ever before.

Among all the other reasons, it is inspiring because it reminds you of your blessings, of the little that you truly need in order to experience life at its fullest, what Joe was robbed of. But then again, the mind works in mysterious ways. It is one of the greatest obstacles to happiness, and one of the greatest human tragedies, that people can only appreciate what they have when it’s gone, including their five senses and the wholesomeness of their body. However, even in the hellish nightmare of sensory deprivation and paralysis, the capacity for some kind of happiness or satisfaction is still there.

A guy without a face and limbs is still capable of being grateful for his good fortune. How about you? Were you stressing over trivialities today, or did you stop for a second, be aware of the present and realise what a gift life is, or can be, if you let it?

View all my reviews