Another Steven Wilson song from Hand. Cannot. Erase. that’s playing in my head. I played this one in my car a few days ago to friendly company and they seemed to agree that it wasn’t the right time to play it and that they “didn’t go crazy for Steven Wilson”. Something twitched inside of me as I blurted back something between “I didn’t expect you to” and “my car, my rules”, which I immediately regretted. It’s okay, though, because playing that song then and there was what made it become my new earworm of the week and what eventually led to this post.
3 years ago was my first day at my first youth exchange, I See Green at Olde Vechte. Sofia gave me a little cupcake with a candle on it after that first lunch in Zeesse. I felt far away from home, celebrating my birthday in the company of strangers, but that gesture warmed my heart.
Today, 3 years older, there’s little hope the strangers in the army camp will become the special people the strangers from that youth exchange in the Netherlands soon became. But the candle from back then is still burning. It’s one of those special trick candles that don’t go out when you blow them.
PS: Wilson’s coming to Athens on May 5th. You can tell I won’t let many things stop me from being there to see him play.
Made by Agnese with the glasses. We didn’t talk almost at all but this doesn’t change the fact that she made something pretty.
This picture is a little token and memento of what took place in Olde Vechte in The Netherlands the past few weeks. That Olde Vechte. It’s become out of the blue a significant part of my life and if all goes well it’s going to become more important still in the months to come.
I’m posting this here because somehow everything I put on here gets reinforced in my head, it becomes more tangible. It works. Synapses and shit (I haven’t taken advantage of this enough, by the way—never too late to start).
People and how we work are weird… no no no. Sorry. I do this a lot: I talk about the general we when I mean to talk about myself and what I do. Let’s try this again: I’m weird. Remember, gotta accept accountability.
So I’m writing this post purely for my own benefit and not because I think it might be interesting to anybody apart from those with whom I shared the experience—kinda similar to how you post songs on Facebook and the only people who like your post are the people who already know and like the song and very few others actually listen to it, usually people who have a crush on you. That’s how talking and writing about youth exchanges and trainings is, including EVS, including Erasmus, all those sexy international things that have been taking a great deal of my time and energy the past few years. The feelings they have created in me are difficult to convey, offline as well as online, so I’m not going to go into the boring details of a purely experiential thing that’s as useful and interesting to read about as listening to people talk about the dreams they had last night. What I am going to say is do yourself a favour and participate in such programs. If you want to learn how, I can help you and direct you, and, who knows, one day even train you.
Sudden spontaneous insightful realisation time. The above paragraph starts with “So I’m writing this post purely for my own benefit” and ends with me urging you dear reader to give it a shot. What can I say, contradicting myself seems to be my new favourite hobby.
Scratch that, it’s not new at all.
Since I’m writing this, have a look at some of my older, more thorough posts about these experiences. Are you intrigued by what you read? Honest question. I’m really curious, because in real life most people express indifference when I talk about these projects. This might explain why I felt the need to write the way I wrote this post.
Thought you knew the real origin of the name Cubilone? Well, you thought wrong, because in the following video I reveal all for the first time.
Jokes aside, I prepared this video as part of the online preparation for the upcoming training in Olde Vechte in the Netherlands, the same place I did I SEE GREEN in February-March 2013 and REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE in November of the same year, for which I never wrote anything of note as far as I can recall, so clicking on the words will do nothing particularly significant.
Supposedly, this video is for presenting myself to the rest of the international group and what fulfills me in life. That was the mission. Do you think I managed to do it? I set off with high expectations but the impressions I’ve got from other people (apart from you Daphne and Mario!) have left me wondering. I can certainly say I had high expectations from the idea, and still do (the things I can write about Cubilonia! I could fill books with interesting things about that place) but I’m disappointed in, you know… why should I do it?
Looking for inspiration; maybe find it, proceed to let other people influence outcome too much; idea that felt awesome looks ridiculous in the space of a single hour when faced with awkward reception and blank stares. Artists shouldn’t listen to what other people think. Right? Artists and creatives don’t create for anyone but themselves. Right? Self-expression is of top importance. Right?
