POLYGLOT DIARY – 15/6/2014

Heute waren wir für das erste Mal in Pernik. Wir haben dort unseren Freunden Kuba und Anna, bzw. aus Polen und Österreich, gesehen. Es war echt schön: Theaterspieler, Obstsalat, Kirschen, Pizza, unseren Länderfähnen ans Gesicht schminken (ich musste dieses Wort in dict.cc suchen…)

Kennen sie Kasetophono? Es ist mein neuester und bester Weg online Musik zu hören. Die Auswahl von dem Stücken ist phänomenal. Hat nur eine Person alles dieses gemacht, alle diese Wiedergabeliste zusammengebracht?

Ich wollte nicht etwas besonders heute schreiben, aber meine Anforderung sagt ich muss dass doch machen! Es ist zu spät und ich bin ja müde, ich will BSG ansehen, ich kann einfach nicht konzentrieren. Ich habe sowieso viel diesem Sonntagabend gearbeitet. Trotzdem, hier ist es. Bist du denn zufrieden, Arschloch Selbst von 8. Mai?

NS: Griechenland – Kolumbien = 3-0/ Oops! Niederländer gegen Spanien war aber ein grossartiges Spiel. Die knusprige Blase hat nochmal das gut noch besser gemacht.

POLYGLOT DIARY – 11/6/2014

Sí! Os dije que esta vez tendría la claviatura internacional! ÓωΌ

Estos días tenemos el trabajo de guardar una exhibición de arte en la biblioteca. Es siete horas cada día, así que cada uno de nosotros tiene de quedarse en la galería por 3-4 horas. Para mí no es problema para nada, porque puedes dejarme en una habitación con un libro por horas sin que proteste. Hoy hice un mucho de bulgaro – tengo ahora un libro para aprender bastante bueno, era un regalo – y seguí leer PiHKAL. De verdad, muy poco gente hoy aceptaría lo que Shulgin quiería compartir. El daño ya está hecho. Pero, bueno, el mundo está cambiando rapidamente, y claro que no son solamente malas cosas parte de este cambio. Quizás pronto vamos a ver pasos grandes al dirección de “vive y deja vivir”.

Mi grupo de discurso en inglés hoy era totalmente lleno de gente! Estaba completamente loco! Parece que todos, ahora que hace tanto calor, les apetecía por algo más tranquilo! Pondría aquí fotos también, pero estoy demasiado aburrido de cojer mi camera, pasar las fotos, encargarlas etc. Debéis que creerme, la gente simplemente seguió venir… Tan gracioso!

Después de eso, también vimos Vivir Es Fácil Con Los Ojos Cerrados en Cine Lumier. Era en español con sutítulos bulgaros, que era interesante para tratar de entender y era buena practica. Andalucía es tan bonita. Dicen que el pasado es un país extranjero. Lo sentí con esa peli. Y después, cuando salimos del cine, vivimos un grande tormenta que puso el cielo entero casi negro.

Los ojos se cierran…

POLYGLOT DIARY – 10/6/2014

I’d been flirting with the idea of doing a polyglot diary entry in English – it is another language after all – and today sealed it: I was writing, studying and thinking in Bulgarian so much today that I think I deserve a break! Anyway, I haven’t transcribed yesterday’s entry which also was in Bulgarian, which counts as a day of creative writing by the way, even if you as readers can’t know that yet.

I’m writing this on Noisli‘s text editor. This thing is awesome or what? Daphne has been my dealer of meditation-y stuff the past few weeks and it’s all been incredible almost to a point of fault. Daphne, who’s your dealer? I need to come in contact with the source. Unless it will be like flying too close to the sun. And when I wrote sun, the screen turned the colour of deep canary. Worthy of a toothy grin. I don’t know if it happened by mistake or if these people at Noisli are really clever.

While writing on top of these super-saturated colours that make me scream with pleasure inside, I’m also listening to the OST of Scott Pilgrim. We watched it with Vicente and Zanda (who predictably didn’t get most of it) a few days ago and, once again, several of its songs have been chewing on my mind through my ears – in a good way. It now ranks up with the movies I’ve watched the most times in my life, and it’s in small company, believe me. Especially being in an altered state of consciousness while watching it unlocks it in a way that makes it come close to being a different watching experience altogether. While I reckon the same could be said about many movies old and new, happy or sad, impressive or deep, funny or suspenseful, Scott Pilgrim this time made a particular impression on me, even it it wasn’t the first one I watched it while chewing on crunchy bubblegum. For one, I could catch a greater number of the small details, including the trademark visual gags and creative, playful direction that make Edgar Wright one of my favourite people working with film.

For example, when Sex Bob-omb play Garbage Truck and Young Neil is singing along, at some point he mixes up the lyrics: he says “oh no!” instead of “oh my!” This just hit, I can utterly and completely relate… The film is infested with such morsels of genious. Another thing was that I realised that it actually portrays human relationships at the deep, subconscious level quite accurately. Scott’s idiotic behaviour and responses to certain situations not only made sense, they suddenly made me realise that in fact I’ve had the same non-sensical assholey thoughts myself (or better put, thought patters and emotions) I just wasn’t conscious of them when I had them. Scott could be little more than our shadow self dressed in geek, which reminds me of Scott’s encounter with his own Nega Scott… *giggle*

OF COURSE the visualisations of the music and the fights and the special effects AAAH THEY WERE SO GOOD! The battle with the brothers and with Todd the vegan were small audiovisual orgasms!

The first time I watched Scott Pilgrim I wasn’t impressed that much, in fact I was slightly disappointed, but now every time I watch it it’s like a new film I enjoy more and more. Of course the crunchy bubblegum has something to do with it, but what if this can be explained by the simple fact that I’ve actually watched the movie more than just once –  that I’ve given it the time it deserves? It could very well be like with me and classical music or Steven Wilson albums: the first time around, the first time they come in contact with my world, I’m mostly indifferent to them; they don’t make me feel anything special. It’s only after the second or third listen that I slowly become familiarised with them and finally come to love them.

Is, then, the key to the things we love simple familiarity – a dose of the right thing at the right time, with the key difference that sets it apart from other nice things that we don’t end familiarised with that it’s not limited to a single dose? Obviously there’s something more, a hidden ingredient, a pluck at an invisible or intangible string, that helps determine whether you’ll like or dislike something – that much is clear.

I have to ask myself, however: have I forgotten what it means to listen for a second or a third time? I’m afraid that I might have, at least to a certain degree. If love, proximity and the act – or ritual – of setting apart basically derive from familiarity plus something special (but mainly familiarity) then in my eternal and fleeting pursuit of the new, the elusive, the mysterious and the unexplored, in my futile attempts to quench the thirst of infinite novelty that often even ridicule the very concept of familiarity, I might have unknowingly and unwillingly sacrificed proximity, I might have sacrificed love. In analytical psychology terms, maybe it’s time I conquered my Ne to move on to my Si. In INFPs this transition comes later in life, of course, and I’m still not done with my Ne, but maybe the calmness of Si domincance is really what I need.

Well, after this heartfelt little exposition, I guess it’s time to say what I actually did during the day. I am a little bit tired of the pretty colours and the too-deep-for-you words, though, so I’ll leave you with three brief sentences:

  • Memrise is simply put incredible.
  • To Kill a Mockingbird (tequila mocking beer, like Vicente pronounces it) is not a bad movie, but classic’s just not my style.
  • Meeting new people sober (especially if they’re not) feels depressingly pointless.

HAIKU #6

Forced into existence from my 7×7 creative writing challenge. Τhey are not (so much) related to eachother.

Πρωί με βράδυ
Μια ευχάριστη ζάλη·
Όνειρα μικρά

Μπύρα καστανή,
Τα γέλια στην κουζίνα·
Φίλοι των φίλων

“Τα ταμπς πρόσεχε!”·
Παράθυρα ανοιχτά
Μες τη φάτσα σου

Riding on a tram
with my mind on my fakebook;
this is no Haiku~

POLYGLOT DIARY – 6/6/2014

Es wird schwieriger und schwieriger, alles im Gleichgewicht zu bringen. Und, wenn ich “alles” sage, meine ich: mein neuestes Experiment mit NoSurf, dass ich erst für 4 Tage versuchen habe (und es ist nicht so schwer, wie ich gedacht hatte); die 7×7 Anforderung, Bulgarisch – so viel wie möglich-, ausgehen, mein kleines Rakun denken, jetzt noch mehr, wenn ich mit ihm nicht so leicht reden oder chatten kann. Ich frage mich, ob alle diese Spannung (und vielleicht die wichtigste Sache von meinen Monaten in Bulgarien underbewusst vermeiden) lohnt sich.

Diese Tage waren hier ein Paar von Zandas Freunde, die den ganzen Weg von Latvia bis hier mit Autostopp gefahren sind. Ich habe es sehr interresant gefunden – sowieso finde ich Autostopp sehr toll – also habe ich ihnen gebeten, einen Interview mit ihnen machen. Einer Tag wird ich ihn hochladen, wenn ich mit den anderen Teilen des Podcasts fertig bin… Sehen sie, was ich meine, wenn ich sage, dass es schwieriger und schwieriger wird? Ich habe auch andere Aufnahme von einem Paar Konzerten, wohin wir heute und gestern gegangen sind. “Langsam langsam!”, als wir in Griechenland sagen mögen. Ich frage mich, ob etwas ähnliches, im Geist und in der Mentalitát, auch in Deutschland geben könnte… Bin ich ein bisschen zu stereotypisch?

Raider II ist so ein tolles Lied, gerade höre ich es nach langer Zeit zu. Ich habe viele Male geschrieben, wie ich so merkwürdig finde, dass Steven Wilson als Musikant nicht weiter bekannt ist. Na ja, ich kann mir vorstellen, dass viele Leute das gleiche sagten, oder schon sagen, wenn ihren Lieblingssänger nicht von anderen gewürdigt wäre. Wer weisst, was von Musik das ich lieben würde, nie werde ich zuhören. Das Leben ist nicht so kurz, aber trotzdem ist es, um alles zu entdecken.

Am Dienstag bin ich nach vielen Tagen endlich gelaufen, aber ich konnte sogar nur 20 Minuten gehen – warum, weiss ich nicht. Ich war sehr enttäuscht darüber… Allerdings habe ich mich heute gefreut, weil ich 10,5km in weniger als 60 Minuten gelaufen bin. Das ist mein bester Tag bis jetzt.

Ich schreibe, und ich schreibe, und so geht es. Schreiben auf Deutsch braucht Zeit, weil ich alles so gut wie möglich beschreiben will, und wie wenige Fehler so möglich machen (eine Kindheit von Overcorrecting – das ist mich), und das Schriff und das Denken benutzen, um zu üben. Auch wenn ich deshalb sehr langsam schreibe, weil ich die ganze Zeit online Lexikons und solche Sache benutzen brauche, es macht mir vielen Spass. Deutsch gibt mir ein sehr einzigartiges Gefühl, dass ich damit komplett and kreativ mich äussern kann.

7×7 CHALLENGE

A few weeks ago, while looking on Reddit for some material on how to get motivated and disciplined, I stumbled upon this comment on this submission:

http://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1x99m6/im_a_piece_of_shit_no_more_games_no_more_lies_no/cf9dz72

TLDR; in order to make a new habit stick, just try to do it every day for 7 weeks – 49 days. The catch? You have to have a card like a calendar on which you’ll physically draw a big red X on and for each day you’ve worked on your habit.

Like this:

From this guy: www.reddit.com/r/theXeffect/comments/21mv06/told_myself_id_post_this/
From this guy: www.reddit.com/r/theXeffect/comments/21mv06/told_myself_id_post_this/

The above comment became such a hit (notice the 4× Reddit gold? That’s having won the internet) that it inspired a whole new subreddit, theXeffect, and even a whole new website dedicated to this idea, fortyninedays.com.

As you might have realised by now, I like this sort of challenge thingies, because they help me structure my life, which in its normal state makes a random splotch of red paint on a wall look like the epitome of predictability and order.

So I decided to try it.

On May 8th I made not one, not two, but four cards. I thought it would be challenging, but entirely feasible.

3 weeks + 1 day later, this is the state of things:

7x7_challenge_qb

The habits I thought I wanted to make permanent in myself by using these cards are:

  • Making a daily sketch;
  • Watching something in the languages I’m studying;
  • Writing something apart from morning pages every day, be it posts, poems or working on those stories I have in my head;
  • Meditating.

Some of these daily habits were more successful in their conception than others.

The state of things right now is that, as you can probably see, it’s become pretty difficult to stick to my goal. Week 1 was more ore less smooth sailing, but since then I have been finding myself more and more in situations where I just can’t focus on my tasks, be it because of oversocialising (here in Sofia it has come to the point where there’s almost never a time when we don’t have a guest staying over – which means going out with them, spending time together etc, on top of the usual EVS chaotic experience), travelling, internet distraction…

Three weeks in, as things are now, I think I can safely say that I have bitten off more than I can chew . Two of the habits are creative, one needs me to clear my head from all the day’s little nagging things (which I’ve always found very difficult, hence I’ve found meditation to be so demanding and never really stuck to it) and the other needs me to have at least a block of undistracted 45 minutes to spare every day in front of a screen. It sounds easy enough, but my life right now is so disorganised (perhaps for good) that I’m struggling to find even the structure needed to work on structuring it!

The most trouble I’ve had with creative writing, which is just too broad a term. I combined it with writing something in the languages I’m learning at the moment, which has culminated into my polyglot diaries, but this doesn’t seem to be working out right now, since it’s already been a week since I wrote anything for them. At least today’s X has already been taken care of by me writing this post.

My progress on the rest of the challenges isn’t in much better shape: watching something in a different language has been reduced to watching Battlestar Galactica with Bulgarian subtitles – I don’t have the patience to watch anything else dubbed -, after many days, it was only yesterday that I sketched anything apart from logos or plants, and my meditations have been so full of inner noise I often come out more stressed out than I was when I went in. It’s adviseable to meditate in only certain altered states: experience says that mild-to-moderate drunkenness is not one of them.

I wanted to share my progress on this because I think it’s time I did something to make these challenges a priority. What is that which is most direcly influencing the way I spend my time, how much free time I think I have, and what I do with it? What is it that is so deeply influencing my capability of finding and creating stillness, the flow of my creative juices, my focus on my EVS and my language studying – in other words, how I use my alone time?

POLYGLOT DIARY – 23/5/2014

Opa! El proximo post en espaniol! Pfff, seguir escribir sin el enie se siente muy… extranio!

Pues, ahora puedo escribir con un poco mas detalles, asi que el ultimo post del diario poligloto era en bulgaro.

Estoy aqui en Sofia. Vicente no esta aqui, esta en Espania por estos dias y estar en la habitacion solo es una sensacion que casi habia olvidado. En lugar de el, Niina la finlandesa nos esta visitando. Las otras chicas de Shar Planina 55 y ella estan en todo tiempo juntas. Ahora mismo que estoy escribiendo estas lineas, han salido en los bares sofianos con intenciones salvajes! Despues las ultimas semanas, puedo decir seguramente que necesito mas tiempo solo con la presencia y la amistad de mi mismo. Eso creo que es lo mas que me falta aqui.

Hoy y el dia penultimo corri 9-10 kilometros, cerca una hora… Lentamente pero seguramente (se puede decir esto en espaniol?) me preparo para algun semimaraton. Encontre un bueno estadio de entrada gratis, y, aunque no esta en buena condicion, ya me gusta mucho ir alli, correr bajo del sol de mayo sin camiseta.

Siempre siento que tengo demasiadas cosas de hacer, y cada dia el estres de muchas obligaciones poquitas se anada y se hace grande. No se que podria hacer para organizar mi vida mejor. Incluso ahora me parece que he olvidado algo, algo importante… Sin embargo, mi nuevo libro sobre el MBTI lo dice: los INFPs tienen problemas con equilibrio entre todas las cosas que necesitan su atencion. El P… El P crea todos los problemas! Demonios!

Antes poco tratamos con Rena y Daphne jugar Civilization IV sobre el internet… Y lo conseguimos… por los primeros veinte minutos o tal. Mi laptop, que ya tiene casi 5 anios, no puede llevar un juego de casi una decada. Bueno, cuando lo compre, ya no estuviera muy actual para nada. No se, mi relacion con mi laptop es bastante mala estos dias. Dejo todos mis archivos en el escritorio, no trato de organizar ni mis fotografias.

Lei algo muy pertinente en el libro de Benny Lewis que estoy leyendo estos dias, Fluent in Three Months.Originalmente es en ingles, por supuesto, pero en espaniol seria algo asi:

La disciplina simplemente significa elegir entre lo que quieres ahora y lo que quieres mas.

Debo de admitirlo, tengo dificuldades hacer la distincion…

POLYGLOT DIARY – 21/5/2014

Пффф вече има 4 дни от последен път че пишах в моят полиглот дайяри и тези е най-трудно от всички езиците койте мога да говоря – горе долу – о да пиша.

Пиша изречени вземе повеце от 20 минути… Моят Цел №1 за сега е да съсредоточавам се на български езикът. Радвам се че има творчески начни за да се прави го.

тези малки до сега.

Things you don’t mention when people ask you what your day was like

You absent-mindedly stick your pinky finger in your ear to scratch it, happily chilling in Slaveikov Square, when a middle-aged colleague from the library passes you by and whistles at you to catch your attention and greet you. You essentially just nod a hello back, finger still firmly lodged in your ear. You’re left thinking that she greeted you just to let you know that she was there to witness you with digging for gold with your pinky.


There is a Dutch princess – apparently the patron for libraries or something similar to that – visiting Sofia City Library’s Children’s Department to present the fresh Bulgarian translation of the children’s illustrated book she recently finished writing. You tremble at the idea of actually having to meet her, because you’re simply clueless about how it would be proper to address her: “would Your Highness be too strong?”, you think to yourself. “Would shaking her hand without, err, kissing it or something, be too… normal?” It even occurs to you that, maybe, if you greeted her in just her first name, no titles or anything attached, you would do what no-one had ever dared to do before; talk to her normally, for what she really is; just another human being. For that she would deeply admire you – just like in the movies. In the end, you don’t get within 5 metres from her.


You see in the distance the guy who met one of your roomies in a big party the previous night, with whom he stayed out for the whole night and with whom they apparently hit it off quite well. He’s probably waiting for your roomie, judging by the three red carnations in his hand. By coincidence, it’s the same spot you’re supposed to meet another, completely unrelated, friend. You pretend you don’t see him; the least you want is an awkward exchange in the spirit of :

-“Hey, how are you?”
– *obviously aware of the fact that you noticed the flowers and still at the stage of deciding whether he should address the small scarlet-coloured elephant in the room* Good… eheheheh, good. And you?”
“….”

Good. You avoided that. For half a minute or so all he can see of you is your back. You doubt he can recognise it as it being yours or, even if he can, if he would be willing to make the fact known to you. When you discreetly turn around, your roomie has already arrived and met up with the guy, is holding the flowers and is vividly exchanging with him whatever it is you’re supposed to say in such situations –  I don’t know what it is, sorry. You pass them by and greet them both; now there isn’t just a single person sitting there, it will finally be both socially appropriate and desirable by everyone for you to just say hi and continue walking with no further questions, exclamations or general interaction. You start moving towards them but not exactly; you know, in an angle from which you they can see you but you’re not actually walking in the middle of the air holding them apart.

Neither of them notice your very briefly outstretched hand somewhere in their vicinity.

You do not change your course of bipedal locomotion.


All of your groceries have run out and you’re too bored to actually buy more.  But is it really all of them or was that just a matter of speech? Not quite – you still have eggs and potatoes left. Your hate for eggs has been stuff of legends before, but you’ve somehow been forcing yourself to eat them in the past few months. It begun when you needed extra protein in order to hopefully see that exercise you’ve been putting your upper body through have some tangible results. That dream has been left in the orphanage of abandoned dreams (that was a horrible image, I’m sorry);  you don’t life your weight around at a rate where extra protein would be of any use anymore – let’s just put it like that – but the “fake it till you make it” part has paid off at least psychologically speaking and now eggs don’t sicken you as much as they used to.

The frying pan is hot. You reach for an egg but your fringers go through the shell as if it was yogurt. You curse everything that’s holy (and not so much) that made it normal for people to eat chicken menstruation. You empty the contents of the egg spilled in the carton into the pan. You check on the potatoes that you fried before and left wrapped in paper in order for it to soak the excess oil, the way you’ve always seen your mother do and you yourself do but your flatmates strangely mocked. You immediately decide it wasn’t such a good idea to use toilet paper instead of the normally used paper towels: the majority of the potatoes are now covered in filmy, greasy tree pulp. You spend the next 10 minutes removing chewy stuff from your food. The sensation of futility is comparable to peeling apples with your bare hands – no, not normal apples, that’s not so bad – maybe the candied ones you’d buy at the πανηγύρι. You resign and end up eating maybe half of them, paper and all, and throwing the rest  out, something for which you are not at all proud.

While writing these lines you’re still unconsciously picking out little pieces of paper from between your teeth with your tongue.

Review: Mort

Mort (Discworld, #4)Mort by Terry Pratchett

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

First, I’d like to mention that this particular edition of the book is pure, distilled class. I found it in Гринуич (Greenwich, written “green witch”), one of Sofia’s largest bookstores. Happily, there’s also “Guards! Guards!” from the same line of beautiful 2014 hardcover editions of the Discworld series on that rotating shelf waiting for me to get my hands on it… All I have to do is swallow shelling out another seemingly-cheap-but-it’s-what-I-should-be-paying-for-my-nourishment-with 20 лв so soon after I did it for Mort with this particular expression on my face.

Anyway, I wanted to include quotes from Mort in my review to yet again share just how witty, pertinent and, well, funny Pratchett’s writing has proved itself to be, but I decided to just put links to lists becase this would grow out of any sort of proportion and my reviews in general need more words like my back needs more hair. The lists of quotes: [1] [2].

Many discheads count Mort as one of the best books in the whole series, and I remember my friend Garret pestering me to read this book in particular for years. My time did come, now that my disc is spinning – you may interpret that analogy at will, by the way. I would say that, compared to Small Gods, the Discworld entry I read before this one, Mort was funnier but lacked part of the punch; Small Gods made me think “hey, Pratchett’s onto something here”, but no such internal exclamations were had with Mort, and rather missed they were. However, I did have to think (relatively) long and hard to decide whether or not I should give Mort 5 stars all the same as a reward for it managing to crack me up so systematically. The end result of that painful procedure you can see before you; nevertheless, let it be known that Mort is funny and that you should read it, even if you’ve never read a Discworld novel before.

View all my reviews