Σχετικά και με το προηγούμενο ποστίο. Thanks Άλεξ φορ λινκιν με.
Tag: psychology
Why do we hate seeing photos of ourselves?
Reposting from io9.com just because I thought it was such a simple answer to such a common issue. A little primer video:
30×30
A guy that just turned 30 gives his 30 pieces of advice, or what he wished he knew 10 years earlier. More than half of them I feel I have already come to realiseon my own and can heartily agree with most of the rest. That is to say, my personal 23×23 wouldn’t have looked much different. Where does that put me? Lip-smackingly mini-book/piece/blog nonetheless.
Review: Dale Carnegie’s Lifetime Plan for Success: How to Win Friends and Influence People & How to stop worrying and start living
Dale Carnegie’s Lifetime Plan for Success: How to Win Friends and Influence People & How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book’s title is so very easily misunderstandable. It’s sort of like all the conspiracy theory videos out there. People will catch a wiff of “global elite” or “federal reserve” and will turn their noses straight up in a matter of seconds. Conspiracy “sceptics” have poisoned so many wells, its a miracle that remote villages the world over haven’t yet been completely wiped out.
The reason its title is so misunderstandable is because, similarly to the alleged conspiracy theorists, it alludes to techniques and practices used in picking up women or something; devious hypocrisies of socially challenged, sad little people that practice their speech in front of mirrors and reduce human contact to rules and habits; strategists of human contact that know about as much of real bonding between people as a typical child knows about chickens from its early rearing on McNuggets.
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Six Ways To Make People Like You
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Smile.
Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in the English language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other man’s interest.
Make people feel important, and do it sincerely.
Twelve Ways Of Winning People To Your Way Of Thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other man’s opinions. Never tell a man he is wrong.
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get people saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Let other people do a great deal of talking.
Let other people feel that the idea is theirs.
Try honestly to see things from the other man’s point of view.
Be sympathetic with other people’s ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.
Nine Ways To Change People Without Giving Offense Or Arousing Resentment
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other man.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other man save face.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
Give people a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make other people happy about doing the thing you suggest.
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Mr. Dale Carnegie in his book that gave birth to the self-help genre is suggesting, simply put, that we care about others. That’s about it. A little active interest can go a long way, whether its for other people’s sense of pride, problems, aspirations or interests. If “How to Win Friends and Influence People” does something excellently in its quaint, ’30s American way of dealing with things, is to show how in our self-centredness we forget how much we like other people treating us since we so often refrain from doing it ourselves.
The awesome thing about the list above is that the book doesn’t suggest you do these things just to win others over and be likeable, it doesn’t tell you: “OK you loser, this is what people like so you better do it. Of COURSE I know you hate being kind and interested in others, you’re a self-obsessed bastard like all of us, time to quit acting like a loser and be a champion”. No. That’s the end, or course: improving the quality of your social life; but the means is being a better person in all honesty, someone who others would like to be with and share things with because, damn, it’d be worth it! What can ever be wrong with that? In fact, we see so little of the above these days that suspicion is immediately raised when people seem to be genuinely interested in others. What can I say? Let’s stick to being nice for a change and see what happens!
After reading this book I didn’t come out thinking that I knew how to better “make people like me”, “win people to my way of thinking” or “change people without giving offense”. I don’t even want to make people like me or win people over; I just want to be kind to others for the pure joy of it! In all actuality, I now feel that the titles above are there only to lure unsuspected people in and help them, by the end of the book, get over the limitations and close-mindedness of wanting to “change people over to their way of thinking”.
The Minimalists
Detaching onself from material posession, bringing less stress and trouble into one’s life (just because there’s fewer stuff to worry about!), producing less trash… Zen. Like, like.
The Minimalists blog
Ineresting posts:
21-day journey into minimalism (the whole process!)
Everything I own: my 288 things (sounds like a lot? think again)
The troubling nature of pop culture
The short 16-step guide to getting rid of your crap
Insert compulsory, relevant Steven Wilson song here:
Danish Diaries #13
Today is the first day of advent. In four weeks time it’s Christmas. One week before that, I’ll be setting my foot on Greek soil for the first time after almost five months. Party’s almost over and it really feels like it’s long past its peak. Two years ago I wrote this particular heartfelt piece. Right now, I’m feeling like I can’t wait for Christmas to come and for me to be with my loved ones again. Everything’s looking as if our lives are going to change dramatically in the next few months and in ways we can’t even predict now, much less a year or two ago… so I feel the need to be with my people right now. That will necessarily mean leaving my newly-found loved ones behind over here, but my approach to such inevitable small tragedies of life can be best summarised with a “bring on the pain”. I am confident that things will take their course the only way they can…
Now I will detail such an interesting topic as the weather. The weather’s broken its month-long hiatus of just plain meh of cloudy, rainless days with sheets of rain and wind that’s blowing all of the orange leaves that had gathered in piles everywhere, turning them into forced immigrants riding towards the unknown. It’s been definitely a pretty sight. Very happy that the Danish weather finally decided to prove the wilder side of its infamy. I do not think I will see snow before I leave, though — believe it or not, Danish winters are considered ‘mild’.
Jul is coming and hyggelighed is shooting through the roofs. People getting Christmas sweets, doing their Christmas shopping starting from early November *silent sigh* Then, the quaint little Christmas bazaar in the center of Aarhus is closed by 6pm (and it’s been 2 hours of darkness already), making the Christmas wine very eloquently called Gløgg unavailable to the thirsty crowds. What can I say? This place is boring. The only fun people seem to be having is by mindlessly consuming tons of alcohol to at least make their mind-numbingly boring Fredagsbar entertainment a tiny bit more interesting. Danish people are like a bunch of spoiled children. They’re actually more like a society of sheltered people that avoid to look at the world without some kind of capitalist-socialist rose-tinted glasses (if you’re thinking that it’s a travesty to even think that capitalism and socialism could ever walk hand-in-hand down Utopia Lane, just visit Denmark and all should become crystal clear) Its clockwork social system seems to be breeding generations of people that cannot think for themselves if their life depended on it. Maybe its a common trait between people, that… But definitely, if populations from other corners of the world share this trait with the Danes, at least the Danes are the ones that come off as the ones with the better end of the stick. They are the happiest people in the world after all…
Could Denmark be an example of what would happen to a country and a population if all its problems were magically solved? Would it all come to a grinding halt out of a sheer lack of important stuff to worry about, people being very happy leading perfectly normal, predictable and passionless lives? It does seem to me that one of the common characteristics between people of the ‘First World‘ –pardon my anachronistic geopolitical categorisation, calling rich countries ‘Western’ seems just as uninspiring– is that we all seem to invent our problems, no matter if our existing problems, big or small, are affecting our happiness or not.
That is a confusing thought. I shall leave it aside.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Too afraid of foreigners, too afraid of standing out, they are hiding deep complexes behind their feel-good, relaxed appearances, against even their own larger and frankly much more interesting Nordic relatives.
OK, enough with cultural generalisations. My relativist side is painfully screaming in protest to all the above. I would hate to do what everybody seems to be doing with Greece right now; that is branding millions of people with a single stamp. Oh, oops, hehe.
Maybe I’m just sour cause I have no Danish friends to invite me over for a hyggelig board game evening… :’e
Most of my days consist of learning Spanish, enjoying hygge alone or with my predominantly Spanish-speaking friends in various altered states (yes, natural endorphins and caffeine counts! Does caffeine withdrawal onset also count as an altered state?), obsessing with Skyward Sword like a well-behaved Pavlov’s human (the highly behaviourist principle in work here is: “we want what we can’t have”. Beware of your hardware flaws and you can probably do much better than most of us out there), writing my final assignments for Digital Media Ethics and Great Works of Art or trying to at least find a good subject for both that will balance between “I already know a lot about this, I can write this stuff down!”, “I want to learn something new, research, research!” and “I like this topic enough I will actually choose it over all the other possibilities and give it the honour of being my subject of preference for this course”. I’m listening to Grace For Drowning a lot, watching many good films the past few days and just finished Peep Show. What a great britcom it is!
Yet, I realise that once all here is said and done, I will regret not being able to use my last days here in a more creative or… Danish way. I wish I had ideas, I really do. But the spirit of Denmark has engulfed me entirely. Now excuse me: I must continue procrastinating and not doing my in Skjoldhøj Autumn cleaning, hoping that if Ι pretend it’s not there it will magically go away οr I will vacate the room before needing to do the general cleaning, having the perfect excuse… Urgh…
Review: You Are Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You’re Deluding Yourself
You Are Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You’re Deluding Yourself by David McRaney
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Logic. The paragon of human superiority. People have achieved so much because we’re plain smarter than everyone else on this planet. Right?
Maybe not so right. David McRaney, creator of the You Are Not So Smart blog which inspired this book, thinks that people are greatly overestimating their ability to rationally make heads or tails of the world. With a collection of almost 50 articles based on a rich bibliography of psychological, neurological and sociological studies, the author deconstructs, bit by bit, all of your sense of personal superiority, security and general feeling of “I’m simply smarter”. But it’s OK, the author re-assures us; deluding ourselves is part of what makes us human.
After reading the book, one might feel that he has gained some valuable knowledge that might just make him this much smarter. I felt that way too. But alas, this is also another delusion that was unfortunately not included in the book. Read all about the Illusion of Asymmetric Insight. It would have been the perfect conclusion.
Read this book and second guess your life. If you dare.
(I have mentioned this blog in another post of mine: Link)